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January 27 2012

Alex’s Guide to Solving Problems: “What are you?”

whatwhiteswillneverknow:

Whenever a white person asks me a dumb question about my race like it’s any of their business, I’m going to give them a relevant answer that is so obviously not what they’re looking for.

White Person: “What are you?”
Me: “I’m an English major!”

White Person: “Omg, you’re [ethnicity]? I LOVE [something related to your ethnicity.]”
Me: “No kidding! And you’re white? I absolutely adore. You know. Um. Making dog sweaters.”

White Person: “Where are you from?”
Me: ” [insert state here]”
White Person: “No, really. Where are you from?”
Me: “Well, I didn’t want to go here, but you know my dad, right? Well, he has this thing called a penis. And my mom has this thing called a vagina. And one day, they decided, “Hey. Our genitalia should get to know each other. What say they mingle for a bit?” And so they let this happen. And lo, I was born seven months later, ambiguous looking and fabulous in all of my glory.”

Photobucket

Pressed. I promise you. Money back guarantee and EVERYTHING on that shit.

* I lied. Dog sweaters are hideous.

(via of-praxis)

  1. articlesofcleansingbreath reblogged this from deeesire
  2. chattyjeliza reblogged this from alexandraerin and added:
    This is a brilliant technique.
  3. truesouthernlady reblogged this from deliciouskaek and added:
    This post has given me life!
  4. stupidforeigners reblogged this from of-praxis
  5. waitful reblogged this from deeesire
  6. amidalamygdala reblogged this from of-praxis and added:
    This shit is perfect. Especially the dog sweaters.
  7. deeesire reblogged this from of-praxis
  8. of-praxis reblogged this from whatwhiteswillneverknow
  9. oh-delial reblogged this from jinglebingeul
  10. jinglebingeul reblogged this from alexandraerin and added:
    I think I’ll do this from now on…
  11. alexandraerin reblogged this from madgastronomer and added:
    White Person: “What are you?” Me: “I’m an English major!” …”I LOVE DOCTOR WHO AND SCONES!”
  12. madgastronomer reblogged this from hamburgerjack
  13. lestyouforget reblogged this from hamburgerjack
  14. hamburgerjack reblogged this from deliciouskaek
  15. homogaypien reblogged this from whatwhiteswillneverknow
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  17. wedietogetherforever reblogged this from stfuandlistenwhitepeople
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